Living with My Eyes Closed

Today at the dentist I sat in that dreaded chair for over an hour with my eyes closed. Why, after all, would I want to look down at my white knuckles? At one point, however, I happened to look up and was very surprised to see my dentist with glasses and funny magnifying glasses on. My mind immediately flashed to Toy Story 2 and the guy who fixed Woody. I almost started to laugh. When did he put on those funny things? The last I saw of him, he was in his white jacket and smiling at me. I wonder what else I missed! It got me thinking about what else in life I have my eyes closed to. Now, some things should definitely not be seen, like the view from the Mindbender or the Great American Scream Machine. Yes, we recently went to Six Flags and I was forced to ride in order to create an even number for riding. My five-year old had more fun than I did and I'm certain she had her eyes open for everything. If mine had been open I'm sure I would not only be leaving in a stretcher but also that they would have been cleaning up the seats after me! But crazy rides aside, how much of life do I miss because I do not truly have my eyes open to the world around me? I want to be like Moses who actually stopped to look at the burning bush. The Bible says that when the Lord saw that Moses actually turned aside to look, He then called to Him from the midst of the bush. Do I miss God's call or voice of beckoning when I fail to stop and take the time to see those around me? Who is God calling me to serve or love on? Do I hear His calling? Just a few things to ponder this time of year as I celebrate His sacrifice for me. He rescued me so that I could share His story of love and forgiveness with those around me. May I slow down and look for Him in all the bushes that surround all my comings and goings.

Joys of Bedtime

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I really do not like reading stories to my children at bedtime. Can't I just count the books we read all day long? But hey, isn't that what every mom is supposed to do at bedtime- to cuddle, read and savor the time together? I can't count the number of times my mom read Uncle Remus' "De' Tar Baby" or "Are You My Mother" to me as I was going to bed- probably hundreds! I'm sure she was tired but she read to me anyway. But, guilt aside, I do like praying with and for my children and just talking to them about life and God as they are getting ready to enter the Land of Nod. Tonight I asked Sandy what she would say in a thank you note to God if she were writing one to Him. The first thing she said was "I'm thankful that He made me." It just filled my heart. Simple, but so pure and full of love. She knows that she is special to her Creator. And next, so true to her free spirit, was being able to ride a tricycle FAST, feeling the wind and seeing the sky all around her. She also wondered if she died at night, would she get to go to heaven in her pajamas and be able to wear them FOREVER?! After that, I went to tuck in Andrew. He informed me that "the Bible really changed my life"- his words exactly. He went on to explain that he used to not understand things about God but now that Jesus is in his heart, he really does. As we prayed, he said he was sorry for all those angels who left heaven with the devil; wanted everyone one in the world to know about God; and wondered how God could be everywhere at once, but was glad He was.
I don't always take the time to engage my children so deeply at bedtime, but I should (especially since I don't like the whole book-at-bedtime thing). How sweet of God to remind me that my days with my children are indeed numbered and to invest in them at bedtime is time very well spent. Now I can go to bed and sleep in my most comfortable pj's- I never know when and if I will be wearing them forever!

Is Every Moment Sacred?

It seems like so much of the world is guided by formulas and directions- physics, math, lab reports, new Wii games, Princess Yahtzee, baking cookies; anything that needs to run smoothly and end up with the right product. But what about things like being a good mom, friend, wife? Sometimes I wish there was a formula I could just follow and know I was heading in the right direction. Yes, I know there is an Instruction Manual for life, the Bible. And it is the source of all truth and wisdom. Sometimes it is just hard to know how I'm doing. For example, I know I can be "holy"- late at night when I'm all alone reading or in my van (all by myself!), singing praises at the top of my lungs. But what about when I am feeding a baby, trying to understand and teach 8th grade physics, get a nine year old to focus on spelling and math and preparing to go to a night class- all at the same time? Can I be holy then? Is there a formula for that situation? I am reading a book called "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges. He writes about working in us what is pleasing to Him; that "Godliness is having a regard for God's glory and God's will in every aspect of our lives, doing everything out of reverence and love for Him." So I am trying to see every moment as sacred, as an act of devotion to the One whom I truly desire to serve and love. There is no formula on how to respond to a faulty transmission, aches and pains, desires and longings- except that God gives us the freedom to write our own formula. We are free to live under His teaching by His never-ending grace. With His Spirit, I can devote each moment to His glory. Will I fail? Yes! Will every moment be sacred in practice? NO! Yet I am assured by His love for me that He will do for me and through me all that I can't do myself. He is the only formula I need to know.

Alley-Hoop

It's funny. I usually worry about the things that I do not want my children to hear or learn about from someone else; you know- sex, drugs, violence and the like. I think when I am old I am actually going to laugh about and enjoy the things my children know that I do not. God has blessed me with an early example of this. The other night I was nursing Annie in my room and I had on the Carolina-Duke basketball game. I know many of my friends think that I have totally abandoned my alma mater and that the only sports my children know of is SEC football. Well, thanks to my nine-year old, our lives have been overcome with details about all different sports. Hard to believe that there wasn't even such a thing as SportsCenter when I was growing up. So, back to the bedroom. The game was on and Sandy, the most observant and quick of the clan, came in to see me and just happened to see about 5 seconds of the game as she was passing the small screen on my dresser. As she came over to see me she replied, very casually, "Oh, that was an alley-hoop." I didn't even know she had watched much basketball, much less getting the names of the plays down. I didn't even know exactly what an alley-oop was until I asked Griffin. Oh, the joys of having a big family! I love it that we all teach each other things as we walk through this life together.
I'm sure there are going to be things that Sandy learns about that aren't as innocent as an 'alley-hoop', but for now I can rest and enjoy the protection and care God has provided for her and my other children. I do not have to live in fear; I'll protect them as best I can and God will provide the joys of living under His grace and mercy.

Just a Shower?

I don't know about you, but for me a shower is more than just a shower. Yes, at the bare minimum it is a place to get clean, but it is also a place to sing, cry, pray, listen to God and even escape. This afternoon was such a time. My morning included working out (finally!), helping Sarah with a science test that took waaaay too long, trying to keep up with Griffin's never-ending stats about the NFL (it really isn't fair that I expect him to know all his math facts and I can't even name any other players on the Colts or Saints except the QB's, even though I have been told many times), caring for Annie and making sure Sandy got at least a LITTLE attention! There was a short window of time before I had to pick up Andrew and then get ready for my class tonight. Time to escape to the land of warmth and solitude. I really do thank God quite often that I live in a land that has access to hot water at any time. Can you imagine having to boil water and shower in a basin or some other contraption? Ask any of my children- the thing I most look forward to in heaven is (hopefully) being warm all the time. So back to the shower- I just stood there under that wonderful waterfall from heaven and relaxed, prayed, and was just still. But alas- knock,knock. "Yes?" "Can you give me a synonym for..." Time's up. Back to the world of homework and housework. But all is sacred to Him and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Surrounded By Love- and Blankets!

As I was putting Annie down this morning for her nap there was quite a collection of blankets in her cradle. One folded over the side was a gift from my mom. One was a beautiful, handmade labor of love that someone made for Sandy when she was a baby. One, a gift for Annie from a new friend and the one that she was actually under- a sweet hand-knitted blanket that is so soft and warm. As I was folding the collection that had amassed I realized how wonderful it is to be surrounded by the love of family and friends alike. It was as if God was loving her through each of these people who care for and love her. I guess there's just something about a peaceful, sleeping baby that brings out all kinds of emotions in a mom- but I just felt so surrounded by the grace and mercy of God. I was so encouraged by Him to keep my home and heart like little Annie- full of peace, totally dependent on my Maker, content to rest and surrounded with the love and warmth of family and friends.

Who Do You Want to Be?

Last night while I was hanging out with Sarah in her room she asked me who I would want to be if I could be anyone else in the world. My immediate thought was Faith Hill- cute, spunky, great smile, seemingly great life. But within 2 seconds I changed my mind- it's amazing how fast the brain can process and analyze all our different thoughts. Someone famous like Faith Hill hasn't even impacted my life or the life of my family. So the name I spoke aloud to Sarah was Jean Fleming. "Who?" you ask. So did Sarah. Probably 99.9% of the world has never heard of her. Many years ago she wrote a book called A Mother's Heart. I first read it when Sarah was almost one and I have read it cover-to-cover at least 5 other times. Other than the Bible, it has been the one thing that has most impacted my vision/goals/inspiration for mothering. Sarah said, "Do you know her?"- no. "Do you know anything about her?"- again no. It's amazing how someone that I don't even know is someone who has impacted my life and love of children. Why would I want to be her? Maybe because I, like all of us, have a desire to make a difference in someone's life; to be a valuable resource to those around us; to encourage other moms to not settle for the world's way of raising kids. We all need encouragement for the tasks at hand and to know we are not alone. We all seek that place and plan for our lives that is bigger than we are. We can all be significant to those around us, even if we never know their names. Isn't that a part of loving our neighbor? I pray that God would so fill my heart and mind that He would shine into the hearts and homes of those who need His peace, His love, His grace, His compassion, His hope and all the other blessings that are from Him.
I'm sure it is great to be famous and to know so many people. How much better to be known, if only even by name, by a few whose lives you have impacted for generations to come.