Our Big Family

The dictionary defines "mantra" as a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation. In our family, a mantra is a saying that we use repeatedly to teach, train or focus our values as a family. For example, "If He can get it through you, He will send it to you" is an oft repeated statement that teaches my children to be a channel, not a reservoir, of God's blessings. " Be thankful about what you do have and don't be grumpy about what you don't" is another common saying in our house. Since we have a pretty large family, a lot of discussions seem to be explained in part by "well, because we're a big family" or "in our family...". Of course I try to help all the kids understand what a blessing it is to have quite a few siblings; yet there are times when it does seem like the smaller families have all the fun (at least in the children's eyes). So-and-so gets a new backpack every year; someone else gets to take a big trip for their birthday; some family has something newer, bigger and better. Another case in point: Andrew, the only one who is not homeschooled this year, came home last Monday from school and reported very assertively: "A girl in my class had such a fun weekend! She got to go to Pizza Hut AND Painted-By-U AND she got to paint TWO things. I guess that's because they only have two kids in their family!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He really didn't seem too upset. I think he was just sorting out in his mind that this was one of those things that really wasn't an option for all of us to do. And I hope that he knew that being in a big family truly is a lot of fun, even though we don't do a lot of extras. Do I want all my kids to have fun? Yes. Do I want them to have great experiences? Yes. Do I want them to get everything they want? Definitely not. I'm thankful for the boundaries God has put around us and for the opportunity to teach and live out that relationships are so much more important than things. Come to think of it, that is another Holmes family mantra!